Tic
by VexieChan
Summary: Merry and Pippin pull off their best prank yet while teaching the Fellowship their favorite nonexistant past-time.


Tic  
  
The Esteemed Lady Quotes  
  
Summary: Merry and Pippin teach the fellowship their favorite nonexistent past-time. The game is funny, but the way the whole Fellowship believes it is even funnier.  
  
AN: look, I'm a freak, okay? I listened to the commentary on the Fellowship when I was stuck in bed with strep and had nothing to do. And this is based on a trick Dom, Billy, and Sean (Astin) played on Elijah Wood. I could just see Merry and Pippin pulling it off. It was cool, though, 'cos it reminded me of stuff me 'n my friends would do. So don't mind me, and go see my less funky stuff.  
  
Fic:  
  
Merry and Pippin sat side by side on a boulder in the Mines of Moria. They had been sitting there for about five minutes. Pippin was bored. It was dark, kind of cold, and there was nothing to look at but rocks. And there was only so much "What Does That Rock Remind Me Of" Pippin could take. He sighed.  
  
"Merry?"  
  
"What?" Merry turned to the younger hobbit.  
  
"Why are we all sitting here?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Because Gandalf forgot the way again." Merry replied.  
  
"Oh. How come he keeps forgetting?" Merry thought a minute.  
  
"I don't know." he said. "He's pretty old. Maybe he has that Alzheimer's thing."  
  
"Oh." Pippin fell silent. He looked around. Gandalf was sitting on another boulder not too far away. Frodo was talking to him. Sam was standing guard, as usual. Aragorn and Boromir were arguing over some broken sword. Gimli was looking very much at home, while Legolas was looking very out of place. He was doing his best to stand there in an elvish manner, though. Pippin was getting very bored by this time. He looked at Merry. His best friend seemed about as bored as he was. He watched Merry space out for a little while. Then Pippin decided something had to be done about this overwhelming boredom.  
  
"Tic." he said suddenly, poking Merry in the ribs. Merry jumped.  
  
"Pippin! What was that for?" he demanded. Pippin shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. Tic." Pippin poked Merry again. "I'm bored. Tic."  
  
"Stop that!" Merry said.  
  
"No. Tic." Pippin replied, poking him on the tic.  
  
"TIC!" Merry replied, shoving his finger in Pippin's side. Pippin merely raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Tac." he said, poking Merry in the head. Merry poked Pippin twice, once in the ribs, and once in the head.  
  
"Tic Tac." he replied. Thus it continued, each hobbit taking turns poking each other with an odd three-letter-word attached. Sam was the first to notice. He glanced at Mr. Frodo and Gandalf, who were talking about Gollum. They would be all right, he decided. Besides, Gollum kind of creeped him out, from Bilbo's stories and everything. He wandered over to Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Tic tog." said Merry, poking Pippin.  
  
"Tug. "Pippin replied, poking him back.  
  
"Uh, what are you doing?" Sam asked, not quite sure he wanted to know. Merry and Pippin looked at each other. Merry had that look in his eye, the one only Pippin could catch. He grinned. Merry looked at Sam.  
  
"We're playing a game. Tag." he said, continuing to poke Pippin.  
  
"Tug. It's called Tic." Pippin added. "Wanna play?" Sam frowned suspiciously.  
  
"This is actually a game?" he asked skeptically. He had been tricked by the duo before.  
  
"Oh yes." Merry said. "Tog teg."  
  
"We play it all the time back home. Haven't you seen us?" Pippin asked. "Tig." Sam didn't remember seeing them play it, but he didn't want to say anything. Just because he didn't remember it didn't mean it didn't happen. You can't always trust your own brain, as his Gaffer used to say.  
  
"How do you play?"he asked, now curious. He hated not knowing things.  
  
"Well. . ." Merry began.  
  
Meanwhile Boromir and Aragorn were having yet another argument about the Sword That Was Broken. It seemed Boromir was jealous of Aragorn, but wouldn't admit it. He would rather argue about it. Aragorn was quite defensive, because he was used to people gawking in amazement at the sword passed down through the generations, and never had anyone question its value before.  
  
"It's just a sword, no matter what it did." Boromir was saying. "If he had cut off the Ring with a butter knife then that would be the Sacred Knife." Aragorn sighed.  
  
"That's not the point." he said. "It's not the sword itself, but the deed. It's a reminder. It's kind of a family heirloom, like your horn." Boromir looked at his horn. He looked up, a new argument ready, but then he noticed three of the hobbits huddled together.  
  
"What are they doing?" he asked. Aragorn turned. He frowned. Pippin poked Sam, who poked Merry. Merry rolled his eyes and started explaining something. Aragorn and Boromir looked at each other, then slowly crept over to the hobbits.  
  
"So you can't tug a tac?" Sam repeated. "Can you tic a tog?"  
  
"Only with your left hand." Pippin replied. Aragorn frowned. Boromir was a little more apparent in his curiosity.  
  
"What are you halflings doing?" he asked. Pippin and Merry grinned at each other.  
  
"We're playing a Shire game." Pippin said. "Tag toc." he poked Merry then Sam.  
  
"Wanna play with us?" Merry asked, poking Pippin back. "Tig." Boromir looked at Aragorn. He didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of the Ranger. But Aragorn looked just as interested.  
  
"Show us." Aragorn commanded. Merry and Pippin exchanged another secret look, very happy with themselves.  
  
Gimli sighed happily. He was finally in one of his favorite places. Not to mention the fact that the caves were making the elf squirm. He heard a squeak of Hobbit laughter and looked over. Merry, Pippin, Sam, Aragorn, and Boromir were standing in a circle. Boromir poked Aragorn viciously. Aragorn poked him back, then poked Merry. Pippin laughed and said something. Aragorn frowned and poked Merry again. Pippin nodded, seeming satisfied. Merry poked Sam, and Sam poked Pippin.  
  
Gimli walked over to the group.  
  
"Tac tec." Boromir poked Pippin twice.  
  
"Tog." Pippin poked Aragorn.  
  
"Tig." Aragorn poked Sam.  
  
"Tic tic." Sam poked Merry.  
  
"Sam! You can't double tic!" Merry cried.  
  
"Oh. I forgot." Sam replied. Gimli was very lost.  
  
"What's going on?" the dwarf asked. Boromir looked at him.  
  
"We're playing a traditional game from the Shire." he said proudly. Merry and Pippin grinned.  
  
"Teach me this game." Gimli said. Pippin could hardly keep from laughing. He was far from bored now, and very pleased with himself.  
  
Legolas shifted nervously, scanning the stone walls. He preferred open sky to underground. He almost wished they were back on the mountain. He decided to see how close they were to moving on. He turned to Aragorn, but the Ranger was no longer behind him. He looked around. Merry, Pippin, Sam, Aragorn, Gimli, and Boromir were standing in a group, randomly poking each other. Legolas frowned and took a few steps closer so he could hear better.  
  
"No one tegs a dwarf!" Gimli cried, poking Boromir. "Tog!"  
  
"Tac." Boromir poked Pippin.  
  
"Tic toc." Pippin poked Aragorn and Sam.  
  
"Tug." Aragorn poked Pippin back.  
  
"No, Aragorn. You can't tug after you've been toced." Merry said long-sufferingly.  
  
"I thought you couldn't tac after a toc." Aragorn replied, looking confused.  
  
"Yes, but you can't tug either. You've got to either tic or teg." Pippin explained. Aragorn frowned.  
  
"Oh. Teg then." he said. Legolas frowned. This was odd behavior, especially for Aragorn. He respected the adoptive son of Elrond and found it strangely out of character for him to be poking hobbits. Gimli noticed him standing there.  
  
"Care to join us, Elf?" the dwarf challenged, poking Sam. "Tig."  
  
"What would I be joining?" Legolas asked suspiciously. It looked like nonsense to him. Incredibly immature. And possible a hoax.  
  
"Tic, a game passed down by many generations in the Shire." Merry said grandly. Sam frowned. Once again he felt a little suspicious. He had never heard of Tic, ever. Or if he did, he just didn't remember, and his memory wasn't the worst. He went on with his turn and poked Merry with a "toc"  
  
"I see. How do you play Tic?" the blond elf asked. He was always up for learning about new cultures, and Hobbit culture endlessly amused him. Besides, it would take his mind off the claustrophobic feeling the Mines were giving him.  
  
"It's a simple, yet complicated game." Aragorn said. Merry poked him and he reached out and poked Legolas.  
  
"Toc." he said. "See, now you have to poke someone else. If you poke me back, you can either tic or teg me. If you poke someone new, you can do anything but tac." Legolas nodded. Merry and Pippin couldn't look at each other. The rules they had created within a second had become long and complicated. Their Tic converts were finally learning the 'rules', though Merry or Pippin had to come up with a new mistake every so often to make things interesting. It was, however, getting hard to remember what rules they had made previously. They kept having to overlap, because they would contradict themselves.  
  
So the Fellowship members taught Legolas the game of Tic and they played for about half an hour, until Gandalf suddenly stood up.  
  
"This way." he said. Everyone broke apart and formed their line again. No one said anything to the Wizard or the Ring Bearer about the game. Actually, no one said anything at all. The serious adventure was back in place.  
  
Aragorn walked behind Gandalf and Frodo. He had been surprised again by the simple things that amused hobbits. It also amazed him that such a simple game could be so complicated. But it had passed through generations of hobbits all over the Shire, which probably explained it. Hobbits were interesting creatures, he thought.  
  
Sam followed Aragorn. He was still puzzling over how he had never heard of the game. He figured it must be a Took game, that Pippin taught Merry. He wondered why Mr. Frodo had never taught it to him. He must know it. Sam figured he must have played it at some point, only he forgot later on.  
  
Legolas was next in line. He was amused by the simplicity of hobbits. He glad they had come up with a way to pass along these long, dark hours underground. He was also glad Gandalf remembered the way, letting them move again. The sooner they left the Mines, the better.  
  
Gimli was behind Legolas. He was very happy, since he had beat Legolas, if he scored everything right. He still didn't quite understand Tic, but he figured it was an odd Hobbit thing, and at least he hadn't Tagged a Tog, like a certain blond elf. That was just plain silly.  
  
Boromir walked along behind Gimli. He was thinking about how much fun that game was, and how he would teach it to all of Gondor when he returned home. Or at least all the children. He wasn't sure how everyone else would like it. He was definitely teaching Farimir, though. His brother enjoyed such games. They had spent many long afternoons in Minas Tirith playing little games like that. Farimir would be glad to learn a new one.  
  
Merry and Pippin brought up the rear, smiling to themselves. If anyone looked, they would see the two hobbits looked quite proud. They slowed down a little so they could discuss their success.  
  
"That was fun." Pippin remarked to his best friend. Merry smiled at him.  
  
"Yes. I think that's our best prank yet." he said. "Per Capita, anyway." Pippin nodded in agreement. They had tricked many hobbits, and had been able to pull pranks on Dwarves, Elves, and Men at Rivendell. But this was the first time they had tricked them all at once, and so easily.  
  
"Funny. I always figured our best would be a little more harmful." Pippin said. "Especially considering this is the first time we've been able to trick Aragorn."  
  
"That is interesting. I suppose it was simple enough we were able to get away with it." Merry said.  
  
"Yes. I wonder what they all thought." Pippin said. Merry laughed.  
  
"I wonder how long they'll all believe Tic is a real game." he replied. Pippin laughed.  
  
"I bet you five mushrooms they'll think it's an age-old Shire game forever." he said. "Even old Sam. I couldn't believe we got him." Merry nodded.  
  
"I figured Sam would catch it." he agreed. "I'll take your bet."  
  
Many months passed, and many things happened. Gandalf and Boromir died. Frodo and Sam went off alone. Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas went on a long chase after the orcs captured Merry and Pippin, Gandalf came back to life, and the Fellowship was finally mostly together again. Gandalf went out to talk with Treebeard. Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas all relaxed together, catching up on the story.  
  
"And now we're all here." Merry finished their side of the story.  
  
"And what a odd trip it was." Aragorn sighed.  
  
"Half of it I still don't believe." Gimli admitted.  
  
"But look on the bright side. Things are looking up. We've captured Isengard and we have the Ents on our side." Pippin said.  
  
"No, darkness is still on our borders until Frodo and Sam destroy the ring." Aragorn replied.  
  
"Come. Let's not think of such things. For the moment at least, we should enjoy the time we have before the War begins." Legolas said. The others agreed.  
  
"We should all do something." Pippin said. "I don't know what. But something together, kind of a celebration of the reunion of the Fellowship. Or what's left of it."  
  
"That's a fine idea." Merry agreed. "But what to do." Aragorn smiled.  
  
"Let us celebrate the finding of two Shirlings in the fashion of the hobbits themselves." he said. "Why not play the game of Tic again?" he suggested. His two companions brightened.  
  
"Aye. I can beat the pointy-eared Elf again." Gimli agreed heartily. Merry raised an eyebrow.  
  
"What are you talking about?" he asked, completely clueless. What was Tic?! And what did it have to do with hobbits?  
  
"Tic. The game passed down from your forefathers?" Legolas said, frowning.  
  
"What's Tic?" Pippin asked. Aragorn frowned.  
  
"Have you both been hit on the head?" he asked. "You taught us all how to play Tic back in Moria." The hobbits thought for a few minutes. Suddenly Merry's eyes lit up. He nudged Pippin.  
  
"Yeah, Pippin! How could you forget Tic?" he said. Pippin's eyes widened as he remembered. He couldn't help it. He burst into laughter. This got Merry laughing. Soon both hobbits were laughing so hard that neither could breathe. The other three looked at each other.  
  
"What is so funny?" Gimli demanded. Merry tried to stop laughing.  
  
"Tic doesn't exist." he managed before submerging into giggles again.  
  
"What?" Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli cried in unison.  
  
"We made it up on the spot!" Pippin admitted, doubling over. "We fooled you!" The faces of their companions were too hilarious for words.  
  
"The whole game, with all its rules and regulations was a jest?" Legolas asked in disbelief. The hobbits could only nod.  
  
"I started poking Merry because I was bored. I felt some kind of word was necessary." Pippin explained through his laughter. Merry nodded.  
  
"I had to retaliate, of course, and pretty soon we decided to mix up the words. When Sam asked what we were doing, we had to make something up." he continued.  
  
"The game was a game." Pippin said, shrugging. "It was fun trying to teach you all the rules we made up. It was quite good, wasn't it?"  
  
"No one makes a fool of a Dwarf." Gimli said, tackling Pippin, who squeaked.  
  
"Nor an elf." Legolas agreed, taking Merry down. Aragorn laughed. He really didn't mind as much. That was just the nature of Merry and Pippin. He enjoyed seeing them fight harmlessly with Legolas and Gimli. These were the good days before the storm to come. They should be enjoyed and savored.  
  
IN MORDOR (or close to it)  
  
"Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked, finally alone with Frodo. Gollum had gone off on one of his trips again.  
  
"Yes, Sam?" Frodo looked up at him. Sam decided to ask Frodo a question that had been on his mind a very long time. He had just now worked up the nerve to ask.  
  
"Do you know about Tic?" he asked. He felt very silly, knowing this was a game everyone always played but him. But Frodo frowned.  
  
"What's Tic?" Frodo asked. Sam breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly he felt much better.  
  
"Oh, good. It's not just me." he said. About that time, Gollum reappeared, ready to lead them on. Sam picked up his bag and followed after the creature.  
  
"Sam? What's Tic?" Frodo asked, running to catch up. Tic had caught his attention, first because it didn't make since, and second because it had nothing to do with being killed, Mordor, the Ring, or Gollum. Sam smiled.  
  
"Well. . ." he began. Finally, something he knew that Frodo didn't. And such an important piece of Hobbit culture overlooked! It was a good thing Merry and Pippin knew of these things.  
  
Will Merry and Pippin ever tell Sam that it was all a trick? Was Boromir disappointed he never got to tell Farimir about Tic? Was Gondor lost without the wonderful game? Will Gimli and Legolas kill Merry and Pippin? Will Gandalf ever find out about the trick? Will I ever get a good tan? The world may never know. Dude, I don't even know!  
  
THE END!  
  
I told you I was a freak. Don't ask, all right? Just review and tell me how fricking funny and insane I am. Remember this, my friends: My goal in life is to make people laugh. That and organizing the Buffalo Wing and Rabbit Foot Foundation with my friend's little sister. (Only $8.23! Sign up now, and help save the poor baby buffalos that get their wings chopped off, and the poor rabbits with their feet cut off 'cos people want good luck. We need your donations!)


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